Does anyone know how to get in touch with John Tesh?

I hate John Tesh. In that David Hasselhoff kind of way. You know what I mean. He has that smarmy look to his face that says..... I think I am great. He looks like a hairy dude too (much like the Hoff). He has always annoyed me. Not sure why? When he was on Entertainment Tonight, hated him. When he tried to be a piano playing superstar, hated him. He just has that "I'm talented enough to be famous, but not talented enough for you to like me, so I'll just be annoying and cling to every opportunity to be in the spotlight" kind of way. (Disclaimer: Dude has more talent than me for sure, but I am not annoyingly famous....just annoying)

So, am I blogging just to share my feelings on Tesh and the Hoff? No.

Recently, John Tesh has become the second man in my life. I guess I have now developed a love-hate relationship with him. The Teshmiester has become the little whisper in my hubby's ear that finally gets him to do the things I am nagging him about for YEARS. And this has given me yet ANOTHER reason to hate on the Tesh.

Blake commutes 25 miles each way, and in the car listens to the radio. Evidently, he is inflicting the John Tesh show on my poor helpless radio. However, like a kid finding a sucker on the ground, he just can't help but pick up the goodies. He'll walk in the door nearly everyday with some random John Tesh fact.

"John Tesh says....." is a frequent comment in our home. Often, it is stuff I have been saying for years. (you know the stuff you tell your husband "they say you should/shouldn't....which is followed from the husband with, "well who told you that?", and "Who is THEY?????" Then the information is promptly discounted and discarded)But hey, give a man an annoying voice and a radio show and the husband will listen. Guess the boobs (mine not Tesh's) don't have as much power as they once did. Seriously, you'd think Tesh was Oprah or something. (Oh, and i dislike her MORE than the Teshter)

So, my question to you all, if I have to listen to the "John Tesh Says...." constantly, can't I at least reap some of the benefits. I'd like for John Tesh to list the following on his radio show:

1. Husbands should always offer to do housework. It makes for a happier home and wife.

2. Don't rag on your wife at how dirty the car is. They're your five heathens too. She wasn't the only one there when they were made, and shouldn't be the only one having to pry dried on tootsie pops from the leather in the van. And NO, she does not know what the mysterious liquid is in the cup-holder. But, John Tesh says you should offer to clean it.

3.Don't ask if you have clean underwear. Look at the GIANT pile in your bathroom. None of your clothes have magically sprouted little underwear-legs. Chances are, unless clothes have started magically replicating, those are the same dirty underwear you didn't take to the dirty clothes yesterday. John Tesh says, if you aren't going to wash them, AT LEAST take them to the dirty clothes.

4. If you love your wife, don't make her watch old Night Rider reruns on the RTN. (See comments above on her feelings about the Hoff.) John Tesh says torturing her with one 80's has-been is enough, and he is taking on that role.

5. ALWAYS let your wife sleep in on the weekends. John Tesh would.

6. When in the car together, she can hear the radio, so you really don't have to repeat what John Tesh JUST SAID. She may just be choosing to ignore it.

7. Since said wife gave up chocolate, she may be(ok IS) rather grumpy. (Yes, this is in addition to her normal state of pleasant grumpiness) You should do something special for her. A giant chocolate candy bar would be nice, but cruel. VERY cruel. John Tesh says skip the chocolate and go for cash. She likes that too.

8. She really likes good Mexican food. She really hates cooking. Mix those two together, and what do you get? Pick up take out at the Jose's at the interstate exit. (She can probably give you the call-in number) John Tesh says this will score major points and might lead to a good night. (unless, of course, you count the byproducts of ingesting re-fried beans and jalapenos') Though I am sure john tesh has a cure all tip to get rib of gas (mine and yours).

9. When said gas attacks at bedtime....it is not polite to fan it to your wife's face. Nor is it polite to hold her head under covers (in some states that is probably spouse abuse....so says the Tesh). The polite thing to do, as per Tesh ...if you were to ask him....is to go to the bathroom and rip 'em.

and finally

10. Tesh says that sometimes it is better to pretend you don't know where you heard something. Anytime you say to the wife, "john tesh says....." She stops listening. While the Tesh-man has offered TONS of helpful bits of information over the past months, he is really annoying. The man can't seriously think we think he knows all that. Hello, can you say staff researchers? Pretend the dog told you. It'll get you further.

So, unless John can get my husband to stop leaving his socks and shoes everywhere, convince him to clean the kitchen from top to bottom, wash and fold all the laundry, and scrub the boys bathroom (seriously....3 boys, one toilet, GROSS), cook dinner, clean the van, and rub my feet; I really have no use for him. The show is called : Music and Intelligence for YOUR life.....not for Your Wife. Let's keep it that way!

We have a second dog!

This morning we got another dog. This one is a puppy, not quite fully grown. It just did the cutest things this morning, enjoy a few pictures. I am not quite sure what kind of breed this dog it, and unfortunately, it certainly isn't house-trained.

I was on the phone with my mom when I noticed our new puppy chewing on Sophie's ball. I hope she doesn't mind sharing. The new puppy certainly didn't seem to mind chewing on a used ball. BLAhhhhh.....that is NASTEE.

After enjoying the ball for a while, he played and jumped. He grabbed Sophie's stuffed bear and bit and shook it, just like Sophie does. Sophie was just watching all this in amazement. I think she was trying to decide how she felt about another dog invading her space.

Up next he found Sophie's squeaky toy. I think this one is the new puppies favorite. He picked it up and carried it around in his mouth. JUST LIKE SOPHIE DOES! WOW! They are SO alike.After he finished playing with that, he moved on to the purple squeaky bone. He could not get that thing to squeak no matter how hard he bit and pushed on it. Sophie is better at this. I guess it will come in time.

So far, the new puppy seems to be fitting in just fine. I do wish we could do something about the house training. He also barks a little too much. I am not sure how long Sophie will tolerate him playing with her toys. Personally, I think it is kind of gross that they are sharing toys.

But isn't he just the cutest puppy ever!

Disclaimer: Yes, I am a horrible mother, I did not intervene and let my kid chew on the dogs toys. Believe me, much worse had already been in the kids mouth. Besides, they share popsicles, potatoe chips, and sometimes sippy cups; so what is a little tennis ball and teddy bear between friends!

I didn't mean to break his heart!

This morning when I got up, I had no intentions of breaking someone's heart. In fact, I had my day planned out to be quite boring. School, lunch, commissary, dinner, bed. Woo hoo. My day certainly didn't go that way, and I found myself trying to mend a poor broken heart.
I told the kids I would take turns eating lunch with them at school. I started with Andrew, since he is in kindergarten. We did that a few weeks ago.
Today was Bryce's turn.He has been reminding me of it since I ate with Drew. I am so glad they want me there, and had intended on eating with Bryce much sooner than this. Today, I finally made it up there. Sam and I packed his lunch....fruit roll up, little debbie fudge round, Cheetos, and a juice box. Healthy, huh! I know Sam wont eat a sandwich, so why waste!
We get there right on time. Sign into the office, get a visitor's pass, and we meet Bryce and his teacher in the hall. He is SO excited to see us there.
We go in and find our seat. We get to sit at a special table that only kids eating with their families get to eat. Bryce loved it last year when I would come eat with him, though we sat with his class then. Anyway, when we get in, I told Bryce I had to go say hi to Drew. Their lunch periods over lap by about 20 minutes. So, Sam and I made our way through the sea of cafeteria tables. Andrew is quite excited to see us as well. All his friends introduce themselves to us. I check to see what of his food he is eating. Give him a hug and a kiss, and tell him that I have to eat with Bryce and to have a great day. He seems ok, and off i go.
A few times through the course of lunch I look over to Drew and wave, smile, and notice he keeps looking over at me. I enjoy my lunch with Bryce. All his old classmates from last year try to break their necks to say hi. They have all grown so much over the past year! They seem like big kids now instead of babies!
I notice Andrew's class is starting to do clean up. Next thing I know, I look over and Andrew is standing with his teacher just SOBBING. He is all out crying. Tears, shrugging shoulders, sobbing cry! He is looking at me with eyes that look like his puppy died. I tell Bryce I need to go check on Drew, as his teacher is mouthing, "he's crying cuz he had to go to class". I walk over and give him a big hug. Whispering in each other's ears, I find out he doesn't want me to leave, and wants to come home with me. He is sad that I didn't get to sit with him, and wants me to go to class with him. How sweet, but also so hard. I have wrestled long and hard as to whether he was ready for kindergarten because he is just so young, sweet and tender. For a moment, I wanted to grab his sobbing little body, and take him home with me so he wouldn't have to be sad or lonely. Instead, I made a deal with him. I promised him a treat! Told him to go have a great day and do well at school, WITHOUT crying, and I would have a treat for him when he got home. That perked his sweet little face up. The tears dried, and he was ready to go to class.
This mom, however, felt guilty that my little guy had such a broken heart because I didn't eat lunch with him. I felt guilty that he doesn't absolutely LOVE school like my other ones have. I know it will come with time. Every day he talks more and more about friends.
By the time he got home, the only thing on his mind was his treat! His first words off the bus,"mom, you didn't forget my treat did you!?" He got to enjoy his skittles, I got to enjoy his smile.
How ironic that on one hand, I would like to wrap him up and keep him home with me, but on the other hand, I am nearly counting the days till they are all in school. What I'll do then, I have NO idea! (but i have three years to think about it!) In the meantime, I'll take turns eating with them at school, I'll enjoy dragging Sam all over with me and getting to answer 10,000 times a day "Mommy, what's that?", I'll enjoy helping with the stupidest homework, and when the time comes that Sam goes back to school, I'll be the one with the broken heart! Do you think they'll buy me a treat to keep me from crying?

BigNews!!!!!!!!! for me anyway!

This is something we have been thinking about for a while! Since we are not moving, we decided to go ahead with it.
We purchased a commercial vinyl cutter, and have started a Vinyl Business! I have been playing with it this evening, and it is so fun! I am working on a website, and a few other things! I will post some pics soon! The only drawback to it is I am spending a lot of time in the garage. I am so paranoid I am not alone in there......we caught 2 mice shortly after we moved in. I am so afraid one might still be hiding in there and attack me. I have HUGE fears of those tiny, nasty little creatures. But, because of the size of the cutter, there was just nowhere else to put it!
Anyway, I have been designing files, downloading fonts, and coming up with ideas for a while, and am excited to finally have the machine up and running!
I'll post a link to my site soon. In the meantime, if you have anything you want done in vinyl.....I think I might know someone who can hook you up with a great price!

Jonathon's Golden Birthday

It is a once in a lifetime event, turning the age as your birth day. This year Jonathon turned 12 on the 12th!This was birthday was a very special one! Not only was it his golden birthday, but it is a special age in our church! When a young man turns 12, they enter into the priesthood! We are lucky enough to live near family, so we had the entire family (minus Jess and her bunch) up for his birthday.
We did cake, ice cream and presents on his actual birthday with just the grandparents and us. Scott and his family arrived on Friday evening. April and her family came on Saturday, and Chris and Krystal came Saturday evening.
Saturday was beautiful, so we took the kids to the bamboo forest.

It was not as impressive as I remembered from my childhood, but evidently a tornado re-did the landscape several years ago and it just hasn't recovered yet. The path has become unkept, and the mosquitoes were out in full force!

Still, it was fun to walk through! We did get rather hot rather quickly! Bryce and Andrew moved so quickly, the camera and I didn't catch up to them. From the forest, we headed to Bass Pro Shops to let the kids torture the innocent shoppers within, I mean, shoot guns upstairs. They had a ball.

April and her family met up with us at Bass Pro. Shane skipped out, would prefer to go to a Alabama football game than to spend hours with 20 of his most favorite crazy family members. Go figure?????

Sunday, my baby (he'll always be my baby!) was confirmed as a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood! We are so proud of him! I know it will not be long before we are (hopefully!) sending him off on a mission! It is amazing how quickly the days and years are flying by! It truly seems like just yesterday that he was a blond haired little boy pointing out airplanes in the sky! He really is a great kid, even if he does fight with his siblings a little too much for this mom's taste! He has read the Book of Mormon, on his own, front to back about three times now. (He is almost finished with his third) That is much more than I can say for me as a 12 year old! He bears his testimony on his own on Fast Sunday. He talks to his friends at school about the gospel. He even tried to give a friend a Book of Mormon. The kid didn't accept it, but we were so proud of him for trying. This move has been a difficult one for him, and friends have not come as easily this time. He was the new kid in a school where kids have been together since kindergarten, so last year there were times when he really did not enjoy it, and felt like he didn't have many friends. Still, he excelled, and continued each day! He ran for vice-president of Jr. Beta Club this year, and while he didn't win. I was very proud he put himself out there, and took the chance. Now, don't get me wrong, he is still 12, and he certainly has his moments when I could hang him by his toes! All in all, a great kid who is a great example to his younger siblings. We know we have been blessed with very good children!

Speaking of very good children, as I sit typing this, Sam has made a spot on the living room floor with a giant box of Lucky Charms, picking out the good parts! (for the record, I only like the marshmallows in that cereal too! ) That must be my cue to quit blabbering, and do the mom thing. That two year old of mine can make quite the mess! Oh the thought! But he sure is cute!

Was it the dog?

Disclaimer: You all will know a little too much about my family by the end of this post.

As you all know, we got a dog about a month ago. She is very sweet, and very well behaved. Sometimes, I guess just to keep me on my toes, she would do something crazy like pee right in front of me, or poop by the door. To her defense, she is not a barker or whiner, so if you miss her standing quietly by the door (that is her bathroom cue) it is your fault, not hers. So, I have noticed over the past week the little boys room smelled like pee. None of my kids are bed wetters, but I still checked the beds to see if maybe Sam had a diaper malfunction at night or if Drew might have had an accident. Beds smelled fine (for little boy beds anyway).
I go ahead and strip the beds thinking maybe it just needs a little freshening up, and it isnt a pee smell? I do notice Sophie(the dog) will go into the boys room briefly. I wonder if she is sneaking in there to pee. I had just taken her out, but thought i'd see if I can catch her. She goes in there, and I go into stealth mode. Stalking the dog. Trying to prove she is covertly peeing in my carpet. I've already decided it must be her. Now to catch her in action.
I peek my head around the corner, making sure she doesn't see or hear me. She is sniffing at the carpet at the foot of Drew's bed. I look closer and realize there IS a wet spot there! I knew it! She was peeing in there. DANG DOG!!!!!!
i walk into the room, "Sophie, did you do that? Did you pee in the carpet?"
She is a very gentle dog, and doesnt like to get in trouble. She tucks her little tail, turns and goes out of the room and gets on the couch and curls up. I, in an attempt to out do my stupidity when cleaning the boys room (for a refresher:http://ginger-myrandomnothingness.blogspot.com/2008/05/things-mom-of-boys-should-know.html), I bend down to see if this is the offending odor. That would be a resounding YES! I wonder WHY?????? She had JUST been out. And this was A LOT of pee!??!!! Was she marking territory? Suffering from doggie incontinence? Trying to make me go insane? A quick search of google on how to remove pet urine from carpet, and that's the end. I did crawl around and sniff the carpet all over to see if she had frequented any other parts of the room. I am happy to report she had not.
Fast forward to that evening, I am tucking the little boys into their bed. I am sitting on the floor, reading Drew and Sam a book. For some reason, I ask Drew, "Have you been peeing in your carpet?"
Now WHY did I ask my 5 year old, fully potty trained kindergartner if he was peeing on the carpet? I have no idea. But the look on his face as soon as I asked, and I knew. He got this sheepish guilty look. I have to admit I was a bit relieved. I can communicate with a child and solve the problem. If it was the dog, I was afraid it was going to be an ongoing problem. He still has said nothing, but I can tell by his reaction he is in fact the guilty party. I ask again, "Drew, did you pee-pee in your carpet?"
He says, "I don't want to be in trouble. Please don't be mad."
Me, "So you peed in your carpet?"
He just kind of stares at me, aware I already know the answer. I want to hear him say it. "Andrew, tell me the truth, or you will be in bigger trouble. You know Sophie got in trouble today because I thought she was peeing in your bedroom."
"I did mom."
"Why did you pee in your floor? "
"I don't know."
"That isn't an answer Drew. Tell me why you peed in the floor! How long have you been peeing in the floor (Remember, I said I noticed the smell earlier in the week, just took me a while to identify what it was!)? And where?"
"I did it 2 times, maybe 4. "
"Why"
"Someone was in the bathroom"
"you know we have two bathrooms, where did you pee?"
He points straight to where the offending spot had been.
We then went on to have a discussion about how he must use the bathroom. And then I felt the need to be even more specific. The toilet in the bathroom. I know Drew is kind of like me, and just not a morning person. He is also a little on the lazy side. So, I guess when someone was in the bathroom, and he is half asleep, he'd prefer to pee on the carpet instead of walking across the house to the other bathroom.
I didn't know whether I should spank him, laugh, ground him,......what i should do! I was grateful it wasn't the dog. However, seriously, how does a kid even think up the, hey, lets drop my pants and take a piss on the baseboard/carpet, routine? Maybe it is a family trait, peeing on things they shouldn't. Their dad did pee on an electric fence when he was a kid.........

That being said, carpets are cleaned, dog is no longer on my bad list, and I am making sure Drew pees first thing every morning!........IN THE TOILET!

Super Saturday Madness!

Tomorrow night is my ward's Back To School Bash Enrichment Pot Luck. How is that for a title!? I have been in a tizzy the past few days trying to figure out, buy supplies, and make samples for our Super Saturday in October. I will post some pics when I get things finalized. We are also playing LDS Family Feud tomorrow night. That'll be fun! We went to Sam's today to try to buy disposable cafeteria treys. They didn't have them anymore! Such a bummer! We got cute square plates instead! We promised the young women treats if they volunteered to sit the nursery, so I get to bake lots of cookies tomorrow!
This week is shaping up to be a crazy one! This afternoon Sophie has her first appt at the puppy groomer. She is getting a trim, wash, dry, having her nails done, and some other things that really didn't sound that fun to me. Sophie may feel assaulted when we pick her up. All i know is if when i went to get a shampoo, cut and dry they "expressed" anything associated with the word anal, I'd not be going back. Poor dog. But, at least she'll smell nice and fresh and have pretty nails!
Tomorrow is going to be fun! I always look forward to Enrichment night. (yes, i know i am a dork!) Really though, no kids, someone else making dinner, adult conversation; Can't beat it!
Though I have been getting some razzing about the invites. I made a last minute change and didn't fix part of it, so it read:
A-M bring a main dish
L-Z bring a side/dessert

Yes, I know L comes before M. I did go to Alabama public schools, and although I haven't bothered to actually graduate from college, I DO know the ABC's.

The kids are home and I better go diffuse the bombs!

I am a ding-bat....

This has been a long week. (though aren't they all!)
Between sick kids, RS presidency meeting, ach. days, scouts, and school projects; each evening has been a frenzy of activity. I would use the evening hours to kind of hang out a bit, catch up on laundry (or try to ).
By Friday am, (today) I was pretty much useless. I HATE getting up in the morning. HATE IT. To say it takes me a while to be coherent and pleasant would be fair.
This morning was no exception. I was up late lastnight working on my Deep Ocean Diorama and Election signs. Ok, not MINE, but somehow, I got suckered into "helping". The diorama turned out fantastic, and the signs we mostly cute. It got to be later than I have been. Got up the same time this morning. That sucked.
I dutifully go to the kitchen and make lunches for the 4 school aged kids, and one for Blake.
They all leave and Sam and I watch Curious George.
Typical day.

Around 1130, the phone rings and it is Blake calling from work. This is unusual as he hates talking on the phone, and even more so talking on the phone at work.

Blake: Did you make my lunch?
Me: Yeah, did you forget it at home?
Blake: No, I have it right here.
ME: Ok? (confused...)
Blake: Did you make me a sandwich
Me: Yes, i was out of sandwich bags to I wrapped it.
Blake: Well, I see it, but you, um. well.....
me: What?
Blake: Its just bread and cheese.
Me: What do you mean?
Blake: there is no meat. It is just mayo, mustard and cheese. No meat
Me: Are you sure?
Blake: yes, I am looking at it now. there is no meat.
Me: I know I got the meat out, wonder what happened to it (thinking to myself Sophie probably had a good morning snack) So are you going to eat the cheese sandwich?
Blake: No, it is gross
Me; Ok, sorry about that. Why don't you go get a sub....or see if they'll just sell you meat. Tell them you already have the bread, mayo, mustard and cheese.
Blake: (not thinking that is funny) Goodbye Ginger,


I couldn't help but giggle thinking of him unwrapping the sandwich and coming to realize it was just bread and cheese.
To make up for it, I took him to Outback for Salad and Steak tonight. Ok, I wanted to go out, but I took him with me!

Oh, Sam got in BIG trouble today. He was on the grumpy side this morning too (don't know where he gets that!). Sophie had been patiently sitting by the door waiting to go out for a while. I told him I was going to take her out, then we'd have lunch. He didn't want me to. Starting fussing. I told him Sophie had to pee and I was taking her out. So out Sophie and I go......
She quickly tends to business, and is ready to go back in. I get to the door and notice Sam is inside and the door is closed. He usually stands on the deck while I take her to pee. Not this time. he was mad I took her out before making him apple juice. I go to open the door. It is locked. Sam has disappeared. I am starting to get annoyed. I have no extra key anywhere. I'd have to go next door and call Blake to come home, or go ask the construction workers across the street to break into my house for me. I bang on the door. Sam comes and looks then walks away. I am loudly saying...>Sam, the door is locked...UNLOCK the door! He smiles and says, Mommy outside. OPEN THE DOOR SAM. Now I am getting mad. If I have to go to a neighbors or to the construction workers, he is REALLY going to regret it. You see, I was wearing Santa Claus pajama pants, Barney colored crocs, my hair in last nights ponytail, and a stained up polo shirt....no bra. Lovely. just lovely. I decide I better bang some more and convince the 2 1/2 year old to unlock the door.
UNLOCK THE DOOR!!!! SAM I MEAN IT>
Sam: (trying to turn the handle) You do it. It locked.
I try explaining to a 2 year old how to unlock the handle. After what seemed like forever he finally got it unlocked. Sophie and I came in, and I had to deal with the naughty 2 year old.

I was SO glad when bedtime came tonight. Now I am just counting down the minutes to mine. To sum it up, I was out smarted by a two year old, and failed to make a simple ham sandwich. I am a dingbat!

Ahh..nothing like waking in the morning to the fresh sounds of.....

Vomit. And to be clear, morning in this case is defined by 4 something in the morning. Oh, but the joy was just beginning.
Luckily, the guilty party had felt queasy earlier and was properly prepared for such a distribution of last-nights dinner.

Happy Labor Day!
Nothing like a holiday to make the kids sick. There go the plans!

Oh, but don't feel bad for me. You see, the fun was just beginning.
After making sure all was well with the puker, I nestled back into my bed. Hoping to get a bit more sleep. Not to be. Shortly after, Kayleigh comes in with the dog, who apparently felt she was missing out and insisted on being taken out at 5 in the morning. It was still dark, so Kayleigh was scared to take her out. Now, for about half a second, I was not in my right mind, and slipped on my shoes and was going to take Sophie out. Then I realized that I had no clothes on. Grabbed the robe, out the door. Sophie decides she just is out for a EARLY morning stroll, and nibbles a little here and there on her favorite snack.....grass.

I get tired of the morning salad-bar stroll, and suddenly realize I need to go to the bathroom. Gravity I guess? I tether the dog, and go in. Tell Kayleigh to keep an eye on her. Kayleigh goes and brings her in.

I am keeping my eye on her as she has a routine, she gets up in the morning and goes out to do her business, both kinds. She did not do the deed while out, and I do not want my carpet to fall victim to puppy potty problems. I notice her sniffing, so Kayleigh and I take her out again. Success.

We come in, and I settle in bed again. Thinking if I could just get back to sleep until 7am that would be fantastic. I knew yesterday when I told Blake I really needed to sleep in, it wouldn't happen. I roll over, put the covers up, and begin to snooze. Not 5 minutes later, I hear round two of the Refried Bean Regurgitation 2008 begin. I get back up. Tend to him, and go to the kitchen to get him some water to rinse with.

I notice Sophie is pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room. I am always suspect when she paces. So i go see what she is pacing for.

Oh, the joy. The dog is sick too. Other end, but nasty none-the-less. It is about all I can do not to just sit down on the floor and cry. I have been up for two hours and have dealt with vomit, a slow stroll around the yard at 5am, more vomit, and now doggie doo (of the liquid variety) in my entry.
Instead of crying, I do what any sane person would do. I got pissed. Turned around, stomped to my room, collapsed on the bed and told Blake he had to go clean it up. Sprinkled in my proclamation on how gross it is was the reminder the dog was his idea, the question as to why I always get to clean up the body fluids, reminders it isn't fair, attempts at guilting him for sleeping while I nurtured the sick kid/dog, and then a pitiful attempt at ignoring the puddle of poo ensued. This outburst lasted for a mere moment, as I hear Sam is up, and am fearful he will find the poo and fall in it, and that, my friends, would have been the end of me.
My attempts to guilt, beg, and order Blake to clean it have failed miserably. This does nothing to help my mood, especially when the question of my needing Midol is floated. I stomp out and get the *%*#&%(!!! mop. Rubber gloves and paper towels in hand, and a few gag-ful minutes later, my floor is now poo free. Blake appears with the mop and bucket for final clean-up.

Poor Sophie is resting on one couch. Jonathon, also known as He-Who-Pukes-Too-Much, is laying on the other. They could pass as twins.
I am over my fit (the cleaning period was not a pleasant time here.......I believe I muttered many names about anyone who passed by as I cleaned Sophie's contribution to my morning) I am finally feeling sorry for Sophie instead of pissed at her. I sit on the armchair to watch the news coverage of Hurricane Gustav. Blake walks in, sits beside Sophie.
He turns to me, and asks, "Why aren't you in bed?" Seriously, SERIOUSLY, do you really want me to answer that?????????????
So, what did you do this morning before 6:30?