Things the Mom of Boys should know....

I think I need to be put into a remedial mothering class. There are certain things any mother should know. Then there are certain things a mother of boys should certainly know. Some of these things you want to learn from others experience, not your own. (one would be wiping that "chocolate" smudge off with your bare hands thinking it is pudding, only to realize pudding DOES NOT ever smell like that!)

I also have a perpetual problem with the word YES. I can't seem to stop saying it. And I have a heck of a time saying NO. For instance.....playgroup was to be at a park this week. Logically, that is where 12+ toddlers should gather. When asked if my house could be the back up in the event of rain I said......YES!

Problem 1. What was I thinking??? The school year is winding down and I have something going on literally everyday! 2. I just hosted playgroup not to long ago....change is good. 3. My house was a bit out of sorts, and by that I mean messy as all imagination. So, i had to clean the kitchen floors, de-toy the living room, clean the hardwood floors in the entry and dining room, make sure the hall bathroom was clean (vs. boyified....and moms of boys KNOW what that means....little puddles of pee), and clean the boys room. OH MY HECK! What did they do in there? It looked like Toys'R'Us vomitted in their closet and into the bedroom floor. And what's that....oh, that is clean? laundry mixed in with toys of every kind! It was the literal noah's ark of toys and laundry!
Now, mind you, I was already in a somewhat (very) bad mood. I get in there knee deep, garbage bag in hand, attitude on my shoulder. The boys had been banished to go bug their dad, and Iwas on a mission. This place was going to sparkle and shine.....or at the very least prove that we had carpet and not fisher-price flooring. I get to work....sorting blocks into this container, legos into that one, star wars men, nerf guns, balls.....and on and on!
Now, one part of me was pleased with the progress i was making. Another part of me was getting madder by the minute. All the laundry I had done.....none of it seemed to make it to those cool regtangular contraptions on tracks that are meant to hold clean, folded, laundry (we call them drawers...). Why? If they can bring them as far as the room, can they not dump them in a drawer instead of the closet floor?
I start refolding the clothes....habit, as I know they will stay folded about 5 seconds. Then I notice there are some dirty clothes mixed in.....this is where it's gonna get fun! The things Andrew wears, shirt wise, I can spot as "used". He wipes his mouth on his right shoulder. So there was food on the shoulders of the shirts. Pants/shorts were a little harder, had to look for signs of wear...dirty knees, food...etc. Now mom is getting mad.....
The smart woman in me sees a pair of underwear. By all appearances, they look clean. No "pudding marks", no signs of pee. They must be clean. So, I decide to sniff them. YES I DID> Can you say DUMB DUMB DUMB?
Now, another thing a mom should know is that deep whiffs are NOT needed. Boys are courteous enough to make sure you can tell from about a 2 foot distance if the offending article has an odor. I guess I somehow missed that clue. Because, I leaned into said Fruit of the Looms and took a DEEP inhaling whiff. Why I continued to inhale after the first hint of putrid air hit my nostrils, I don't know. But I got a good, deep lung, nose assaulting whiff. And now mom was REALLY mad. But this time at myself. Cardinal rule number one of motherhood is DON'T SNIFF underwear! I mean hello? Am I really THAT Stupid....the answer to that fine question is Yes! Yes, I am!
I have learned a valuable lesson. Any underwear found in the closet floor WILL BE ASSUMED TO BE SOILED WITH URINE! Just not worth the risk!
Now, I wont even go into WHY? were urine soaked (and dried) underwear left in the closet floor. In fact, I didn't even asked. I figured the answer was as good as dumb as me sniffing them. Sometimes, you just get what you deserve!